DUDE, WAKE UP.: Iran & Allies in the production of Nuclear Arms

TEHRAN (AFP) Tue Feb 8, 7:31 AM ET Top national security official Hassan Rowhani said on state television that a military strike would only push Iran's nuclear activities underground, and told Washington that the stand-off should be settled by dialogue.

But really what I am thinking is: If those sites were destroyed by air or missile strikes, then Iran itself and most of the neighboring countries would all wind up underground! There would be no more Iran left. That's a scary thought: To have nuclear sites around you that could potentially be hit by a missile.

KABOOM!

So...yeah, I could see how that would "push Iran's nuclear activities underground" in a way they had hoped to avoid.

"We are seeking to resolve our issues with the US. But they are blocking any chance of resolving the issues."

IRAN: We want to keep what nuclear sites we already have as part of this agreement.

U.S.: No.

IRAN: Then we want to keep our uranium enrichment program.

U.S.: No.

EUROPE: (Nodding their heads in agreement to the answer.) We want to make sure you cannot make weapons-grade material.

IRAN: But we have the right, under the Non-Proliferation Treaty, to work on the nuclear fuel cycle.

U.S.: No. You cannot be trusted.

EUROPE: That's right. You cannot be trusted. That loophole in the NPT is something you might exploit.

IRAN: But we only want to make fuel for nuclear reactors.

U.S.: No. Find another source of energy.

IRAN: But we want to be able to export our oil and gas...we need revenue...those are our only other sources of energy. Especially since you discovered we were helping al Qaeda after you captured Saddam...THEN you exposed the oil-for-food scandal, thus cutting off the funds we were getting from that!

Environmental Activists: We have a website to solar panels you could purchase and install on your buildings. But you gotta act quick because there's a high demand for them all over the world so they're running low. In fact, with all this sand around you, then you could make them and become a world provider of solar panels. There's an idea that's not only industrious for your economy but beneficial for the world...and the environment!

Everyone blinks at the Environmental Activists: Who invited them?

Iran...growing impatient at each block to THEIR agenda...erm...progress. Takes a quick look at the calendar. Frustration sweeps over his countenance...realizing it is only February 8. (March 20 seems like forever away.)

IRAN: We don't feel you guys are being very fair! We want to keep our toys! All the work that we and Russia have put into that imbecile, Saddam's, efforts has been set back as a result of your occupation in Iraq! Russia is getting away with their great deception! It's happening right underneath your noses! Saddam ALMOST got away with the latter part of his deception...and the outcome is not finalized. Capturing him was a bit of a snafu in the plans. But now let us have our way too! We need to begin implementing our part of this great plan too! It's been planned for over 10 years! You Westerners are always interfering.

An Iranian ally...advisor...dabs the sweat on Iran's furrowed brow and whispers in his ear. As Iran listens to the whisper, downing a glass of water, the expression on his face changes from frustrated anger to "oh crap"...eyes wide, blank expression. Iran almost chokes. Both he & the al..advisor look over at Russia. North Korea...erm...the advisor wipes the water from around his mouth & the table in front of him.

Russia gives a glare from her end of the table at it's other Arab puppet.

U.S.: (appearing unphased by what Iran just blurted out) No. You will not set your own conditions in regards to halting development of nuclear weapons. This time we're not playing your game of creating new conditions that have to be fulfilled somehow before you are prepared to live up to your international obligations.

EUROPE: (France, Britain, & Germany nod their heads in agreement)

As the meeting adjourns, Russia begins to approach Iran who finds an excuse to step into a room with the U.S. and others. Russia veers off to the left and departs the area. The U.S. grabs Iran by the arm while he's too busy looking over his shoulder. North Korea tries to eavesdrop as U.S. pulls him to the side and says:

We already know you're a puppet for Russia. So just give it up. You think they're going to uphold any promises she's made with you? Look at what she did to Iraq during the Gulf War -- Saddam had no idea what Russia was doing really. She has her own agenda. Look at today's news. Russia is only interested in herself. She's been trying to acquire money. She will make an agreement with anyone she can seduce. Then when she has acquired what she wants from the agreement - she dumps them. You're no better, dude. Wake up. She's using you to do her dirty work. We know she's holding the smoking gun. You're just a bullet. You're a great diversion to her grand deception. Think about it. Let her go & move on with your life. That solar panel idea actually wasn't so bad.